My husband eats more than me, yet contributes less. What should I do?

Your husband is probably bigger than you and requires more food and calories in order to function at a healthy level.

How much food someone needs to eat is not calculated by how much income they bring into the home, it is based upon their weight and height and physical activity levels among other markers. You do not need to ration out food to your family, he deserves to eat and be healthy just as much as you or anyone else does.

If the issue is finances, then this rests outside of what your husband eats. These things are unrelated. He doesn’t deserve less food because he makes less, one or both of you need to determine a better financial avenue for yourselves be it career wise or budget wise. There are likely other things you can cut back on without starting out on food.

Now, if we’re not talking about him eating at a healthful level but rather expecting purchases of excess amounts of food like snacks and beer and take out, then you have a valid complaint.

Calculate out your household monthly budget and set aside a reasonable amount of money for food and grocery, enough to feed the whole family. Then, if he feels the need to purchase anymore food that exceeds the budget, make sure he is covering that cost out of his own paycheck.

Now if you’re not talking about monetary contributions and are discussing household contributions like housework, then that is something to have a conversation about.

Sometimes one partner in the marriage knows what needs to be done and has a plan on what needs to happen. The other partner is willing to help but is not as efficient at knowing all the basic steps that go into making the household function or where their help is most needed, so they wait to be asked or directed. If they aren’t asked or directed they assume everything must be handled. And the other person simply assumes their partner is lazy or unwilling to help and resentment begins to grow.

Talk to your husband about what types of things you could use help with, nicely and compassionately. Don’t start from the assumption that he is apathetic and doesn’t want to help you, start from the assumption that he is willing to help but doesn’t know where it is needed.

SHARE

About Xay